Today I saw red. It was the fourth time this week I had to tell someone how to spell my name. My name is spelled Diane with one “n”. It always has been, despite the increasing incidence of people trying to gift me with two. It’s not that hard to spell, like, for example “deceive” or “accommodation” or “you’re”, words that traditionally cause people all sorts of problems. And it’s not like they couldn’t see how I spelled my own name… it was right there on my Facebook and on my email. Is it laziness? Lack of care? Zero attention to detail? Blindness? I don’t know, but whatever it is, it’s freaking annoying.

So that got me thinking about other things that annoy the crap out of me and make me grumpy. My hot button issues, as it were. So here they are, in no particular order of importance:

1. Doof doof “music” at one in the morning.
2. Actually, doof doof “music” at any time.
3. People jumping queues in supermarkets.
4. People fiddling with their phones when they are supposed to be socialising.
5. Overpriced meals, particularly if the serves are miniscule.
6. Slow internet.
7. Poor customer service.
8. Slow walkers, especially when they span the footpath.
9. People who park their shopping trolleys in the middle of the aisle.
10. Bad managers who have zero people skills.
11. People getting paid to be leaders and being anything but.
12. Managers and leaders who have zero emotional intelligence and a complete lack of integrity.
13. Fence-sitters.
14. People who refuse to have an opinion.
15. Dogs unleashed on the linear park when I’m running.
16. Cyclists whizzing past me at dangerous speeds while I’m running.
17. People parking in the communal driveway and blocking my access.
18. Over promising and under delivering… on anything.
19. Cruelty to animals.
20. Bullies.
21. People who want to fix my problem/s when all I want them to do is listen.
22. People who don’t listen.
23. People who sit behind me on an airplane and bang on the back of my seat with their tray table thingy.
24. People who sit next to me on an airplane and wriggle and squirm while I am trying to sleep.
25. People who sit next to me on an airplane and take up the entire arm rest.
26. Talkers in the cinema.
27. Texters in the cinema.
28. Loud eaters—including packet rattlers—in the cinema.
29. People who are always late.
30. People who are late to their own farewell morning teas and/or lunches.
31. People who talk over other people.
32. People who take advantage of other people.
33. Charities who stalk you via telemarketing companies despite your number being on the Do Not Call register.
34. Family Feud, and anything else that Grant Denyer is hosting, or has hosted.
35. Smokers anywhere, but particularly when I am running past them.
36. The smell of a Subway store… it pongs.
37. Not being able to check into your hotel because your flight has arrived too early, and your hotel doesn’t allow an early check-in.
38. Flights that leave from anywhere at eight in the morning.
39. Flying anywhere internationally with Qantas.
40. Delayed flights, resulting in missed connections.
41. Lost baggage.
42. Sociopaths on your tour—actually sociopaths anywhere.
43. Tour companies that don’t have anti-harassment policies.
44. Fucktards and fucktardedry.
45. Twats and twatiness.

As they say: hell really is other people! But I’m not completely grumpy… here is a list of 35 things that make me happy.