Category: Self awareness

My ten favourite purchases 1.0

Anyone who knows me knows that I’m not a big shopper. I tend to shop for what I need rather than I want, Ozsale impulse buys notwithstanding. And when I do impulse buy, it’s for items that I’ve had my eye on for a while and appear on my shopping radar: leopard booties, tuxedo shirt, pleather leggings, a specific lens for my camera… that sort of thing. Even when I taught marketing and advertising at TAFE, I’d joke with my students that I was an anti-marketer because of my aversion to shopping as a leisure activity. And I certainly don’t make shopping a priority when I travel!

A few days ago, Marty Nemko wrote about his nine favourite purchases on Psychology Today. He claimed, quite rightly I think, that our favourite purchases tell us a lot about ourselves. So, his article got me thinking about my favourite purchases, and what that says about me. I’ve listed them below in roughly chronological order, and explained why each purchase is important to me.

1.   My TV(s)

I can’t remember exactly when I bought my first TV; it would have been sometime in the late 70s or early 80s. I just know I’ve always had access to one, even as a child. I remember being four or five and thrilled about a new program called Adventure Island that was screened. I ran outside to share the exciting news with my mother, who had come home from visiting the neighbours. It was similar to the excitement of being sent home from school to watch the landing on the Moon a few years later. I have very clear memories of shows I watched when I was a child: Dr Who, The Banana Splits, Little House on The Prairie, Young Talent Time, The Wonderful World of Disney, H.R. Pufnstuf, Knock Three Times, Sesame Street. So, when I moved out of my mother’s home into my own flat at the ripe old age of 17 – my 16 year old sister came with me – I made sure I had a TV, even if it was a rental.

On kindness

It’s funny how 24 hours can change your perspective. This post was *not* going to be about kindness. It was going to be about head fuckery (mine), and epiphanies (mine) and calling out bad behaviour (not mine). It was *so* not going to be a kind post. It was going to be a mean and small and revengeful post, albeit an enlightening and highly entertaining one. This post was going to be about as far away from kindness as one could get.

But.

I’ve been thinking a lot about kindness lately. I’ve been thinking about how kindness touches my soul more than just about any other human act. It overrides cruelty, diminishes meanness, cancels out small-mindedness. Witnessing an act of kindness, irrespective of whether it’s fact or fiction, never fails to make me tear up. And I think it’s because genuine acts of kindness are so rare, so beautiful, so generous.

(I cried in A Game of Thrones when Tyrion covered Sansa as Joffrey had her stripped naked at court and when The Hound saved her from being gang raped. And when Osher sacrificed herself so Bran and Rickon could escape Theon’s madness. I cried at Hans and Rosa Hubermann’s different kinds of kindness in The Book Thief. I cried when I read Mustafa Atatürk’s words at Gallipoli. I cry when I see soldiers adopting stray cats in Afghanistan and taking them home when they finish their deployment. But I didn’t cry in 12 Years a Slave, even though it was a film about devastating and awful human cruelty, because there was no depiction of kindness in the film).

The art of insouciance in 4 simple steps

This post was first published on 5 February, 2014. Given that this week I indulged in post-Christmas shenanigans of the plot twist variety, I still need to work on cultivating my insouciance. I’m happy to report that I’m getting better at it, though. Pfft. Meh. Whatever.

Insouciant. Insouciance. I really like this word: how it sounds when I say it, and what the word actually means. It’s French, of course; what other language could manufacture such a linguistically delightful word that has such a cool meaning?

I stumbled on this word as I was trying to find the answer to philosophical question on Google, and it hit me! Insouciance is both the answer and a way of life… a state of mind that I must practice more regularly to be more zen in my outlook.

And my reasons for wanting to emanate insouciance? Being more insouciant doesn’t mean that you stop caring. Or that you stop feeling. It means that you worry less about things you have no control over, so you can care more about things you do have a say in. And it means that you are ensuring that the things you feel strongly about will give you a good return on investment. Plus radiating insouciance is dead sexy… think Mae West, Lauren Bacall and other such femme fatales (blokes: think George Clooney and Jeffrey Donovan aka Michael Westen in Burn Notice) who ooze laid back cool. Insouciance is bringing sexy back.

Dear Me: A Letter To My 16 Year Old Self

This post was first published on 19 November, 2011. I am more at peace with the concept of work, and now enjoy it for the benefits it gives me. I turned 50 last year, and I still give away my heart a little too easily to unworthy men – some things never change!  Dear Me,

Very Wise Stuff I say (that I pinched from other people) – Part 2

Hopefully, you got something out of Part 1 of Very Wise Stuff I Say (that I pinched from other people). This is Part 2. 11. It’s not your job to teach another adult how to behave. ~ Dr Phil I am notorious fixer. And a lifelong educator. This is a bad combination, because I have

3 things I learned in 2013

As regular readers know, I turned 50 this year. I have experienced a lot in these 50 years: love, joy, laughter, wonder, passion, sadness, humility, rejection, awe, embarrassment, pain, fear, anger, betrayal. Feeling each of these experiences has taught me something of life: sometimes things go well, sometimes they don’t. To slightly mangle Dr Seuss’s words: I am stronger than I know, weaker than I think. I am also a bundle of contradictions, wrapped in a shroud of complexity. As we all are.

You would think at this age, there isn’t much left to learn. But I am here to tell you there is: every second, minute, hour, day, week, month, and year on this planet teaches me something new. I count my blessings that I live and breathe another day, and that I get to strip back more of the layers that make up me in a life-long quest to find my true essence.

This year is no exception. I have learned things about myself that I’d like to share with you. Things that I intrinsically know, but it’s good to be reminded of.

Very Wise Stuff I say (that I pinched from other people) – Part 1

Anyone who knows me knows I can Talk Some Serious Crap at times. I also Say Some Very Wise Stuff, gleaned from 50 years of observation and experience on this earth. I recently had a request from a colleague friend to document this Very Wise Stuff I Say, so here is Part 1, with attributions where I can find them.

These are heuristics – rules of thumb if you will – that help me understand human behaviour and motivation, and our place in the universe. There is a touch of the fatalist in some of these sayings, much of which is underpinned by the understanding that we are mortal, finite and have a limited amount of time on this earth.

1. Bad is never good until worse happens. ~ Danish proverb

Simply put, this is about perspective and an acknowledgement that things can go pear-shaped very quickly. Things can always be a lot worse than they currently are, and when they are worse, you’ll wish for just plain old bad. A storm that causes a tree to fall on your car is bad, but a storm surge that destroys your home is much, much worse. A delayed flight is bad, but missing a connection and being stranded in Shanghai overnight is much, much worse.