I judge you when…

Way back in 2011, I wrote a post entitled Three Words To Live By about Maria Shriver and how gracious she was. It was at the time when her marriage was going pear-shaped and her life became fodder for tabloid magazines. I thought she displayed immense courage under fire, and that post was written in response to her ability to “keep your head when all about you are losing theirs“.

Since then I have noticed how our values – or lack thereof – can either help or hinder us in times of crisis or where moral choices need to be made. We either falter or stand strong depending on how fully we have internalised our values as units of measurement against which we judge – or not – our behaviour.

They say that only Judy can judge, but rightly or wrongly, we also benchmark others against our own values. And moral codes. Or lack thereof. And our judgments say much about who we are as people, as much as body language if we care to look beyond the obvious. Beyond the words, beyond the actions to the sub-text, to the essence of a person and what they are about.

My own judgments tell you that I have a deep desire for fairness and social justice, abhor hypocrisy and misuse of power, and cannot understand why people choose not to be educated or develop their emotional intelligence. And I have a quirky sense of humour.

See for yourself, because:

I judge you when… you are a leader, and you have poor communication and people skills, and zero integrity.

I judge you when… you have a personal agenda that is all about you.

I judge you when… you can’t spell my name correctly. Or use my surname as my christian name.

I judge you when… you don’t read books. And you can’t spell. Or punctuate.

I judge you when… you don’t look after your health.

I judge you when… you have no interests or opinions to speak of.

I judge you when… the conversation is all about you.

I judge you when… you think I am a nail to be hammered.

I judge you when… you have poor dental hygiene. And unfashionable shoes.

I judge you when… you say your relationship (with anyone) is awful, and you don’t do anything about it.

I judge you when… you judge me for moving around a lot with work. That’s so old school.

I judge you when… you say you have no money, but spend prolifically.

I judge you when… you don’t follow through with something when you say you will.

I judge you when… you are rude to people you don’t know for no reason. Especially online.

I judge you when… I tell you something important and you choose to ignore it.

I judge you when… you tell me how important I am to you, but I never see you.

I judge you when… your efforts to communicate with me are patchy. And shallow.

I judge you when… you are a business that treats your customers with disrespect. And disdain.

I judge you when… you treat me as if I have no self-respect. Which, clearly, I do.

I judge you when… you are weak and easily manipulated. And you don’t know what you want.

I judge you when… you are intentionally cruel to others. Especially to animals.

I judge you when… you are so black and white that you are oblivious to shades of grey. And the humour that lies therein.

I judge you when… you say “Yes, but…” to a reasonable suggestion for a solution.

I judge you when… you are missing in action.

I judge you when… you judge me for my life choices. That includes being a solo mother, and excommunicating my own.

I judge you when… you refuse to consider another point of view.

I judge you when… you have a sense of entitlement you aren’t entitled to.

I judge you when… you choose to use your power for doing evil. Or doing nothing, which is equally as bad.

I judge you when… you say everything else except what needs to be said.

But more than anything else:

I judge you when… you judge me, and you don’t even try to find out what makes me tick.

So. Consider yourself judged.

Just as you are judging me now.

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