Mothering: All The Things I Did
When I tell people that my daughter hasn’t spoken to me since a few weeks after her wedding in March 2021, they invariably ask: What did you do? Invariably, my response is: Why does it have to be something I’ve done? I’m sick of the What Did You Do question and its negative, judgmental, blamey
Stitched Up: Her Present, Our Past, My Future
I wrote this essay a couple of years ago, not knowing when or where I would publish it. It’s original title was The Pattern Solves the Puzzle. I thought I might submit it to a literary journal, but none seemed right. The one that did seem right said it was a beautiful essay but publishing
On Apologies
I have been thinking a lot about apologies lately. Particularly how powerful they are to aid healing and restore relationships, and how an apology that is half-baked or underdone or passive-agressive is worse than no apology. I mean, an apology that doesn’t include the words “I’m so sorry for [insert transgression here] and I now
Say No, Then Yes, To The Dress
Buying a new frock is not an activity I relish. I wish it were. I want to be one of those women who catches a glimpse of a something shiny on a rack on the far side of the store, tries it on, loves it and whips out her credit card, all within the space
Mothering as a Brief Timeline of Overarching Disappointment
Being a mother was something I always wanted, despite (or because of?) my own childhood. Let’s just say my own mother was less than nurturing and had a violent, nasty streak that meant my psyche was hammered out on an anvil of fear, forged in survival. I knew I could do better, and I did.
Vietnam: It Seemed Like A Good Idea At The Time
My first book in more than four years has been published on Amazon. If you’re curious about what it’s like to start a new life in a developing Asian country as a single expat woman of a “certain age”, this book will tell all, including: – what it’s really like to live in Vietnam –
Your outrage doesn’t mean you’re right
A while back, I posted an essay to a Facebook group of women writers that I’m in. In a nutshell, this essay is about me — while I was living in Hanoi — dating a much younger Vietnamese man for 10 months, who turned out to be a covert narcissist. He almost killed me. You would think that the
6 Reasons Why Being a Woman is Ruining Your Career
I started a PhD in 2008. A year later I quit, but that’s not what this post is about. This post is about women, work, and career advancement. It’s about what I see happening again and again in workplaces. Where women overwork in the hope they will have career success. Where women are often chewed
How You Can Avoid Being Scammed By Internations’ Dodgy Business Practices
How do you meet people or broaden your social circle when you’re new in town? It’s the age old question for expats and foreigners who arrive in a city not knowing a soul. In Hanoi, where I was new in town, I turned to InterNations, which, I must admit, I had never heard of before I landed in Vietnam.
I’m almost happy in Hanoi again… and here’s why
After all the doom and gloom of the last year or so, this is an “I’m happy in Hanoi again” post. It’s taken a Stupid Fucking Virus™ pandemic, lock down and a bicycle to start enjoying this city again. After a long winter, punctuated by brief bursts of warm weather, summer — with all its
An open letter to civil servants everywhere (but especially in America)
I first published this letter to civil servants everywhere on 29 January, 2017. In light of recent events — Black Lives Matter and the Stupid Fucking Virus™ — it seems timely to republish it because its more relevant than ever. Dear civil servants everywhere (but especially in America), You have an important job to do.
Alienated Grandparents in Australia: What Are Your Rights?
This post is not legal advice — I’m writing this as someone who has done a semester of Family Law as part of my law degree, and as an alienated grandparent who has gone through this process(ish). This essay is for informational purposes only and discusses my personal circumstances (and the law) in broad terms.